Guilty Pleasures
by 0Bloodmoon0
Summary: Learn to love; it's so much more special. There's something different about not getting thrown into the whirlwind of a persons attractiveness. You first understand who they are as a person, and then their inner beauty escapes through every inch of their skin, unadultering you into breathless love, one that simply can not be filled, and yet can not be contained. Spemily.
1. Call Me a Dreamer

AN: Hi everyone! A lot of you have been waiting for this for quite some time now. So here it is, I am glad to present to you my newest story! It is very personal to me; I am partly basing it off of my life, so a lot of the things you read have actually occurred. That being said, I'm having a lot of fun reflecting on the real and creating the new. Enjoy the story!

You may call me a dreamer…

But I'm not the only one.

Emily's POV

 _Hands shaking. Palms sweaty._

I cannot fathom that it's already here. High school goes by in the blink of an eye. And here I am; first day of senior year. My schedule sits on my desk, just like everyone else's; it's all too familiar. First mod and I have Mr. Zachary, the trig teacher. Everyone loves him but he seems kind of sloppy to me. I picked my nail and eyed everyone. I'm the only senior in a class full of juniors. Taking honors was a risk, and almost an embarrassment. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe how it feels to be in a class that juniors are taking. The worst part is I don't know anyone, and I feel out of place. I take another look at my schedule, just to double check.

Yep. English next. Room 411. I'd be able to talk to Paige.

English had my stomach in knots. My particular reverence for the tall, brown haired, angular faced type was undeniable. Older woman had never caught my eyes before, but getting over Maya this past summer had me falling under spells. The particular celebrities that held my fancies were of these features, and slightly older. That's where it all started. I was aware of the general looks of Ms. Hastings, the twelfth grade English teacher. She never exactly stood out to me, but that was before last summer. Now, I'm terrified of what my heart might decide upon walking into that classroom.

My heart beat erratically as I got closer. Checking the number on the door before going in, I took a deep breath. Paige sat in the second to last seat of the first column. An uncontrollable smile swept across my face as I greeted my friend for the first time this school year. I took the last seat in the row, right behind her, and she turned around to blind me with her first day jitters.

The teacher sat patiently as the bell rang, waiting for everyone to quiet down. She cleared her throat and finally addressed the class.

"Quiet down now…Welcome to British Literature. I'm Ms. Hastings." She pursed her lips and studied the ground for a moment. All the fears in my head dissipated. Her hair was pulled back with a single whisk hanging in her eye. She read through attendance, putting names to faces. She profusely apologized for her terrible memory, joking saying she'd have everyone's names memorized by the end of the year. I smiled and I'm not really sure why. She simply had an odd charm to her.

I looked over the syllabus she handed out. It was extensive, and I raised my eyebrows upon noticing that she seemed strict. She briefly discussed some of her main rules. At the top of the page she had typed "I have the right to give students zeroes." She also indicated that there would be multiple quizzes a week. _Why was it always the English teachers?_

She then stood up to write something on the chalkboard. I immediately noticed the grace with which she walked, light on her feet. She was wearing peach flats and a blue speckled scarf was draped over her shoulders, covering her collar bone, like you would wear a blanket.

I studied her face, trying to grasp how old she was. She seemed rather young. She was impeccably thin, but not unhealthy. In fact, she looked very fit.

I can't like her. I can't let myself fall. Not with somebody who was completely out of reach, not for something hopeless.

Spencer's POV

My second mod class slowly started to trickle in. Most of them found a seat near the back, some of them stood shifting their weight, wondering if I had assigned seats. As the bell rang, they all found a seat, slowly letting the chatter cease, and all eyes fell on me. I smiled lightly and welcomed my class. I had high hopes for this group; second mod has consistently been my best mod year after year. The students were already awake, unlike first mod, but not bored yet, like fifth mod.

I adjusted my scarf and looked at the sea of faces. Some looked back at me expectantly, others were glancing around the room. I picked up my folder and started rolling off the names.

"Victor."

He sat in the very back, towering over the kids sitting around him. His hair was full of wild curls, and he sounded like a drunk.

I moved down the list. Mike Montgomery. I hesitated at his name. Montgomery. He raised his hand and I saw her. I forgot that her younger brother was still in high school. I shook my head and moved on. Alexa sat right next to him, and they were obviously together. They smiled at each other all giddy.

"Emily."

"Here."

I followed the sound of the voice and my eyes met with dark eyes. She sat in the back corner and timidly smiled at me. Her hair was enviable. I returned her smile but couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her olive skin was perfectly smooth.

I hesitated a little too long. I cleared my throat and looked back down at my folder.

When I got everyone's name I asked a boy to pass out my syllabus and sat quietly, waiting for everyone to get a copy. It got very loud very quickly, most of the noise came from Mike. He was rambunctious, with his hair shorn on the sides and slightly spiked on top. I could hear his laugh come out over everyone else's, but it was all just white noise to me.

Emily's POV

Sweat trickled down my forehead and forced its way into the corner of my eye. Fire burned and I squeezed my eye shut. My legs burned with each pounding of pavement. The last set of sprints is always the hardest. Fatigue ran through my muscle fibers and a determined burst of energy coursed through my veins to finish strong.

Coach called us to a stop and heavy panting filled my ears. I struggled with my own breathing; while I may look fit, running, for whatever reason, is always a struggle for me. When I have something to distract me, like a soccer ball, it's easier.

She was to my left, the object of my fantasies since the eighth grade. Notice the fantasies part, because she's straight as an arrow. However, she hasn't ever dated a guy and has turned down every guy who has ever asked, which is a lot because she's freaking gorgeous. Smells fishy to me, but whatever. She caught my gaze and sent a smile as well as a chill up my sweaty spine. Five years she has attracted me, but I have realized it will never happen and there's been enough time for the pain of that realization to relinquish.

We were dismissed and she caught my elbow on the way out.

"Em, hey!"

I turned towards her and smiled politely.

"What's up Ali?"

"How was your first day?" she kept her hand on my elbow, as if I was going to run away, and my stomach got baby butterflies. Almost everything about her contrasted my recent crushes. Blonde hair, bubbly, raging popularity. My thoughts fleeted to Ms. Hastings. How could I love two totally different people? And why were they both out of reach?

Well, I don't love two completely different people, because I don't love Ms. Hastings. At least not yet. I will try everything in my right mind to avoid that.

"It was typical." I shrugged.

Five long years. How captivating she is. Even when I dated Maya, I never stopped loving her. I loved Maya too, honestly, and it truly hurt when she broke my heart, but Ali was always ever-present.

"Any hot teachers?" She smirked – as if she knew. My stomach dropped and I bit my cheek in hopes it would prevent a give-away facial expression. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about the blush. Thank god for dark skin.

Sadly, I couldn't even formulate a response.

"Relax." She chuckled at my reaction and let go of my elbow.

"Well, I should really go…homework."

"On the first day?" She scrunched her eyebrows. Way to go, awkward side of me, you're great at this.

"Silly stuff." I managed, and then waved and rushed to my car. I sat still for a moment before turning the engine on. My heartbeat slowly came to a quiet lull.

That evening I found myself taking refuge in Paige's house. As I cautiously walked up the steps of her front porch, her parents opened up the door and stepped out, spiffily dressed up. Mrs. McCullers smiled warmly at me and held the door open for me whilst letting me know that Paige was in her room.

The door was slightly cracked so I knocked lightly before letting myself in. She had headphones in, so I took a few more steps forward to get her attention. There's no possible way I could do this without scaring her. She jumped when she finally saw me and took her buds out.

"Hey! How was soccer?" She smiled at me and slapped a spot on the bed for me to sit.

"Same old. How was tennis?" We shared most of our classes, thankfully. The last few years we would go the whole school day without seeing each other, and we would be deprived of each other's company by the end of the day. This was never a good thing.

"Same old. Gosh, I can't believe it's our senior year!" She squealed.

AN: if there is anything you don't like or anything you wish to see, please let me know! If you don't like the flip-flopping back and forth of viewpoints, that is easily fixable :)


	2. Calling Out

Emily's POV

I basically ran into the school. The hallways were dwindling and wet with rain. I was going to be late, I knew it. Speed walking down the long corridor, I noticed Ms. Hastings coming towards me. She passed one, two, three students silently; then, I made very brief eye contact with her and it caused her to smile and say good morning.

"Morning." I almost forgot to reply. She was gone just as soon as she had come. She had been wearing a black pea coat that came to her knees and dark sunglasses. I wondered how she could see in the poorly lit hallway.

I shook my head from the thought and slammed my locker, nearly catching my finger, and sprinted to math.

I was late, as expected. My teacher barely acknowledged it and I slipped into my seat. My thoughts quickly wandered back to Ms. Hastings. Wait, didn't she have a class right now? She was heading in the wrong direction. Clearly she was late as well being that she still had her coat on. Her students are probably having a blast in the empty classroom. I felt a pang of jealousy; her first mod class gets an extra five minutes with her for announcements. I didn't even know why – she was my teacher, there is an uncrossable line between us. I can't even be friends with her. I guess my attraction to her was because I saw an older me in her and wanted to get closer to her.

No.

I can't have these thoughts. I'd be stupid to go there; she's simply interesting, that's all.

That's all.

* * *

I was sitting in English before I knew it. Ms. Hastings jumped into the lesson the second the bell rang. She gave us a prompt that she wanted us to answer in partners. Paige turned around and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I laughed in my head at her foolishness while Ms. Hastings extended her hand to me to give me the prompt. I looked up to her eyes as I took it, smiling slightly. God she was tall.

I kept one eye on her as she continued to pass out the prompt to each group. As she finished someone asked for some paper. She went over to a white cart on wheels and as she bent down to get paper her hip bumped into the cart, pushing it out of reach. She leaned forward to grab the paper and laughed, saying,

"I need whiskers. I don't know the size of my own hips."

I can't even tell you how hard I needed to bite my cheek to keep from laughing because no one else found it amusing.

* * *

Spencer's POV

Some of my students in the front row were talking to me about their interests. What they thought they would study in college, what sports they play, their families.

It's moments like these that make you think.

Breathe in.

I'll learn about each and every one of them. Learn to love them, care for them.

Breathe out.

And then say goodbye. Forever.

That's my job as a teacher.

It's really hard to teach seniors. They graduate and they're gone. You won't see them walking the hallways next year. You won't hear if they ever accomplished their goals.

You have to stay detached; that's the key. But it's so hard. Some are so endearing. Some are good talkers. Some share the same interests as you. I can't help but get attached sometimes.

I looked back at the raven haired girl and she was looking over the prompt with furrowed eyebrows. The girl in front of her turned around and tapped on her desk to get Emily's attention. It was clear they were friends. I blatantly stared at them as they conversed.

I choked a little when Emily made eye contact with me. Her eyes bore into mine and studied me. I quickly averted my eyes to the floor in front of me and my mind blanked.

I decided to just wait it out. She would forget that I had been staring. I was just doing my job; watching them, making sure they were on task.

At least that's what I told myself.

What could I say? She was attractive. I would never go there, however. Not only was she my student, but I would never go for someone younger than me. Sometimes, though, I can't help my hormones. Damn lust; I was so lonely.

* * *

Emily's POV

As the bell rang, I hung back and slowly packed up my things. Paige turned around to wait for me but quickly got the notion that I was staying behind and left. I waited for the last student to leave before approaching her. She was busy shuffling through papers. As I got closer she looked up at me and smiled.

"What can I do for you, Emily?"

Can I just say she is great at keeping eye contact. I tried so hard to look right back in her eyes, but her dark brown stare was too intense.

"I was just wondering if this was ok?" I placed my assignment in front of her. She sped-read through it using her finger to guide her. The sun caught her ring and the glare hit me right in the eye. I looked down and my eyes widened at the gorgeous diamond ring that just so happened to be on her ring finger. I cringed. Of course she would be married. Another reason for me not to fall.

 _Avoid falling. I repeat, avoid falling at all costs._

"This is great. You write very well." She looked back up at me and my mind blanked. I smiled and thanked her, trying to cover up my blush. She wrote me a pass to my next class and I left.

Books crashed to the floor and disgruntled mumbles hit my ears. Ali hastily pulled all of her notebooks together. I noticed her calculator was in parts on the floor and the batteries rolled right to my feet. I rolled the two batteries in my palm as I approached her.

"These yours?"

"Oh! Emily. Thanks." She took them and quickly put them back into her graphing calculator.

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you, a couple of us are hanging out after soccer practice today. Wanna come?" She gave me her famous cheeky smile. My heart fluttered against my own will, and I agreed to going. It wasn't all that often that they included me in such plans. Something about it felt off, but I can't really deny her soft blue eyes. I look into them and see an endless wishing well.

* * *

Paige slid into the seat across from me at lunch. She looked at me, and then down at her food and made a face.

"This schools idea of vegetarian food is really disgusting."

I chuckled at her struggle and unzipped my lunchbox. All around me conversations faded in and out. Glancing around, I spotted Ali and her friends, and also Ms. Hastings with a few other English teachers. More conversations. In depth, unlike Paige and I. We were silent eaters.

"Why don't you bring your lunch?"

"Come on, Em. Don't you know me at all? I don't wake up early enough."

I shook my head smiling, and delved into my sandwich. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Ms. Hastings leaving the cafeteria. She looked at me and carried on her way. Back at her table, Mrs. Vanderwaal and Mr. Campbell talked excitedly. There was still a tray with food on it at Ms. Hastings seat; she must be coming back.

While I watched Ms. Hastings, I felt that I was being watched. Turning back to Ali's table, she smiled when she caught my eye and winked.

My sandwich needed a little more love, I thought. I finished quickly, threw my trash away, and chatted with Paige.

* * *

As soccer practice ended, the girls gathered around their cars to decide on a meeting place. I followed, almost like an outsider, waiting for their decision.

We made our way to Ali's house, of course. She had a large, fully furnished basement. They already had an assortment of snacks and pizza was on the way. Everyone sat down in a circle and many smaller conversations were filling the room. I sat there silently, checking my phone every now and then for a distraction. Eventually, Ali quieted everyone and commanded attention. She looked me right in the eye and smiled.

"Let's talk about everyone's first kiss."

My heart clenched. I felt heat rise to my cheeks and brainstormed about what I should say. It shouldn't be a hard thing; you just say the facts. Still, I felt the need to swallow every other second; nervous habit. I briefly wondered again why I was invited.

When it got to be my turn, I didn't know what to say and so I shook my head. Everyone quickly interpreted that as I haven't had my first kiss yet, and moved on to the next person.

When Ali's turn came up I held my breath. I almost didn't want to hear her answer; I almost wished she would admit she had never had her first kiss. It would make sense to me, she had never dated anyone. I held my hopes too high though.

"Andrew was giving me a ride home one night, and he kissed me in his truck right before I got out." Ali's smile was cheeky.

Everyone cooed and told her he was really cute, and not a bad first kiss.

"Yea well, he was high, so…" Ali shrugged, "It doesn't really count. I don't think he remembers it anyway."

For whatever reason, knowing he was high made me feel a little better. However, my stomach still felt sick.

"Besides," Ali continued, "A kiss is a kiss. Me and Samara do it all the time." She looked over at Samara, who was laughing partly embarrassed, and partly wondering why Ali had brought it up.

"Right, Samara?" Ali pressed, nudging the other girl.

"Yea, totally." Samara agreed.

"Like, watch." Ali put a hand on Samara's shoulder and turned her. They were all smiles and Samara couldn't seem to hold it together. As Ali would lean in, Samara would look away. Constant giggles. Finally, they were only a breath away from kissing each other. They got serious for a second, and then Samara busted out laughing, preventing the kiss once again.

I watched the scene like I was watching a movie. My mouth was slightly ajar, and I couldn't pull myself together.

Finally, Ali's and Samara's lips connected, and the kiss was over as soon as it started. Fire exploded in my stomach and confusion filled my body. It hurt. And I hated it.

It wasn't exactly jealousy filling my veins. It was almost false hope. _She was straight_. But to see her kiss another girl, no matter how briefly, sent so many mixed emotions through me. Confusion.

She looked at me again and I tried my best to look natural. I wasn't sure if I looked bewildered or if I looked bored. Nothing on her face indicated a problem, and I assumed I looked normal.

Was she playing me? Why was I invited here?

 _AN: Hello again. Hope you continue to like the story line as much as I do. To the two guests, thank you so much for taking the time to review! And to chxndelier, I know what you mean ;) lol. Thanks to everyone who followed and favorited! I have high hopes for this story Until next time._


	3. Digging In

Spencer's POV

I walked into school with a nasty headache. I could already tell it was going to be a long day. Loud students ready for the weekend assaulted my ears. Things seemed to be out of hand in the hallways and I made my way to my room as quickly as possible. As always, the room smelled a little musty. It was a struggle to get the giant windows open, but I succeeded.

I had fallen into that same old boring groove, and I wanted change. The weekend had come quick, and I was ready for it. The morning coffee wasn't tasting as good while a cool breeze crept into the room.

I slumped in my chair.

When your hormones are jumpy life gets hard. Not having a connection or relationship to share with someone else allows lust to leak in fast and furious. It gets to a point when a desire for a connection becomes a craving. It's something I think about every morning and every night. It gets lonely.

Lustful minds are foolish. Foolish indeed. Without satisfaction, desperation comes into play, and nothing ever good comes next. Yet I cannot change how I feel. A need for a connection is human, something I can't ignore. Though, I wish I could. I wish I could immerse myself in work, get a dog or something, and just live life the way it is. It only gets harder as the years pass on; I gain less connections, less opportunities. All my colleagues are already paired off. Then there's me. The only new connections I make each year are my new students. That, unfortunately, can be a problem.

I played with the ring on my finger, and waited for my students to start rolling in.

* * *

Emily's POV

I was itching to get to English. It was easily the best class of the day. It was the first Friday of the school year and everyone was hyped to get out of the building even though it was only second period. I, however, was perfectly content in Ms. Hastings class. Today she was wearing jeans. They were pale and had a little rip on her left knee. It was the first day she dressed down. Casual Friday, I guess. Her hair was pulled back as always, enticingly showing off her high cheek bones.

Kids around me moaned and groaned as she started her lesson, not fazed by the upcoming weekend. Even though I was awake and alert, I too started to tune out the lesson. Paige turned around and whispered something to me every now and then, furthering my detachment from Ms. Hastings. However, while I wasn't actually listening to her words, I could still hear her voice, and it held my attention. I never really payed attention to the way her voice sounds. It was sweet. It was rich. It was smoky. Can I sum that all up in one shot?

Liquid silver.

I have never heard such an entrancing voice. Maybe that's why she became a teacher. She just had that voice that students couldn't help but listen to. I started to watch her lips as she spoke. She had full lips, and the way they curled with each word, the way they pursed when she was thinking, was mesmerizing.

Wait, what?

What did Paige just say? She pulled me out of my thoughts so quick I almost forgot what I was thinking; but the feeling in my stomach reminded me.

* * *

Emily's POV

Sitting in a little corner table doing homework, I looked around. When I knew I had a lot to get done I liked to go to the local coffee shop and sip on a hot caffeinated drink while people watching. It helped me actually get work done, especially studying.

When I was writing a reflection paper for English, I noticed someone approaching me and looked up.

My stomach dropped and I got nervous instantly. Her sleek, long thin frame was directed at me and a smile sported her face. Deep chocolate eyes looked right into mine and her mouth said hi. Good thing I can read lips because I didn't hear a word.

"Hi- um, hello, Ms. Hastings." She looked at my hands, then my paper, then her eyes slowly made their way back up to my eyes. I partially covered my papers, not really wanting her to see them. Her smile never faded and she looked around as if she was laying eyes on the place for the first time. She seemed to always have this 'deep thinking' expression on her face. I could tell there was so much more going on inside her head. She was complex.

"I don't often see students here." She stated simply. I shrugged.

"I don't come too often, just when I need to be free of distractions."

"Seems to me you haven't been doing much work since you got here." She started to glance around the room again, avoiding looking at me.

"I tend to people watch." I admitted. The large bundle of nerves in my stomach started to pulse again the longer the gap lasted in between spoken words. The thought that she may have been watching me slipped into my head and drove me crazy. I had no idea she had even been here, and she somehow knew I hadn't done much work since I got here?

"Everyone likes to people watch." She looked back at me now.

"You learn a lot from it." I smiled, an uneasy feeling floating in the space between us.

"Were you watching me?" There it was. The golden question. She bit her lip and looked down at her feet, before making eye contact again. I took my time in answering.

"I think you already know that I wasn't; because you were watching me." My voice fluxed upwards at the end, desperately wanting to know if she had been watching me. I certainly was being bold. It felt kind of good. A nervous kind of good.

She chuckled lightly at my accusation. Her face said she was pleasantly accepting of this form of word battle. I raised my eyebrow at her when she hadn't answered.

"Maybe. Or," She nodded down to my half covered papers. "You haven't even gotten past the intro of your reflection, and your coffee is nearly gone."

I looked at my papers and then my coffee. Damn. She read it perfectly and made me look like a fool. She took note of my blush and took the moment to excuse herself. She threw out her empty cup and left the shop.

As I finished up my coffee, my phone buzzed loudly on the wooden table. Picking it up, expecting either my mother or Paige, I was genuinely surprised to see Ali's name on the screen.

The message was brief. _Can you meet me at the park?_ I stared at it for a while, not knowing what to think or say.

This homework certainly wasn't getting done anytime soon.

* * *

I pulled into the first spot I could find. My stomach did little flips as I started to walk towards the rock she asked me to meet her at. Why would she want to see me? We weren't exactly friends or anything.

I saw her waving at me before my thoughts could go any further. Some of the lights were starting to come on around the sidewalks. I kept my head down as I approached her, fearing what she had to say. She was wearing ripped jeans and a white blouse.

"Hi, Em. Thanks for coming."

"Sure. What's up?" I dug my hands deeper into my pockets and looked around us, taking note of the barrenness of the spot. A handful of older couples walked about, some with dogs and some alone. Other than that, we were alone.

"Are you liking senior year?" Worry etched her eyes, making her look older; making her look icy. It was only fall but she sure did look like a snow queen. A light blue beanie topped her head and her loose blonde curls fell around her cheeks. Her glacier blue eyes complimented her pale skin and I could practically see the snowflakes falling around her. A slight breeze sent a shiver through me and I hunched my shoulders up towards my ears. I nodded my head to answer her question, wondering once more why I was here.

"I wanted to do this face to face." She sounded curt now, like she could care less about me. "Now that we are on top of the food chain, there are more responsibilities we have to take on. With soccer, I mean. Are you willing to help me out?"

"I'm not a captain, Ali…"

She smiled and looked away. Anyone with eyes, or rather an adoring affection, could tell the smile was fake and that there was hurt behind it.

"Well Samara is being a bitch, basically. And I need extra help." She looked back at me. I didn't want to get into the middle of the rift between Ali and Samara. They are better than best friends, and both were captains on the team. Other than me, there was one other senior on the team, whom I thought would make a much better substitution than me.

"What about Jenna?" I countered.

"I want it to be you. Please." Again, I can't resist her eyes. It took a record two seconds for me to cave. "Great! Meet me at my house tomorrow to talk more?" Yes, of course. I can't resist. She hugged me and I tensed up at the touch, not really wanting to give in to my feelings. When she let go my thoughts fleeted back to Ms. Hastings, and I briefly wondered what her embrace would feel like, and if I would melt into it.

But no, that would never happen, and I'll never let myself feel a dire need to hug her. I swear my life is filled with want that's never satisfied, so it's my goal to not want Ms. Hastings. If I protest it enough, maybe my mind will listen, right?

* * *

Spencer's POV

My nerves tingled. After talking to Emily in the coffee shop I felt a rush that lasted until I got home. It took a little bit of nerve to go up and talk to her, but thankfully I was used to doing such things. I didn't even have anything planned, just a simple hello. I don't normally approach students outside of class. Rather, I don't normally go out. I hate running into students outside of school; it's awkward. What if I was buying underwear or something? That would be weird. Typically I would just go home and stay there. Something, however, brought me to the coffee shop. It was right near this little yoga studio I loved to go to, which was really the only place I would go to other than the grocery store.

It's not that I am antisocial, or shy, or introverted. Quite the opposite in fact. I have friends, mainly my colleagues. I've just fallen into that boring groove I told myself I would never fall into.

 _AN: So I just wanted to assure you guys that this IS a spemily story! I promise._

 _Thank you for the continued support and your kind words_ _To the two guests, it always makes my day when I hear from you! And to chxndelier, Emily is having mixed emotions so it makes sense that you are having them too, lol. It makes it all the more real, eh?_


	4. On the Outside Looking In

_I do apologize for my lengthy absence. I don't have any excuse other than I just needed a break. We all need those every once and a while, yeah? Anyways, I trust you'll forgive me. I hope people are still interested in this story. This chapter is kinda short as im just getting back into it. Enjoy._

Emily's POV

It was our first soccer game of the year. Our opponent challenged us, but not too much. Coach played me the entire first half, and benched me for the entirety of the second. It was frustrating when he did this. We were up by two goals halfway through the second half when he took Ali out. She was happy with the way the game was going. After talking with our assistant coach for some time, she walked past me to grab a blanket. The nights were starting to get chillier as Fall approached. She stepped in front of me and, with the blanket wrapped around her back, held out one arm and asked if I wanted to share the warmth. I looked up at her, holding my un-clothed arms, and gently shook my head no.

I think a big part of the reason I never get to have nice moments with a person I like is because I personally prevent them from happening. I could have been snuggled up in a blanket with Ali right now, but no. I had to be awkward and detached.

The reasoning I had in my head was that if I kept my distance she would never guess my true feelings. So instead I chose to act like a cold-hearted bitch who just wants to be left alone.

Senior year would go by and I would go to college far away and never see these people again. So I suppose it's justifiable that I don't attempt to make any new connections.

The game ended and we won, as usual. The team was all laughs and smiles as we paraded onto the bus. The whole ride home everyone sang all the new and popular songs and our coach gave a brief speech of how proud he was. I sat alone in a seat on the edge of where everyone was crowded. I was always there, but as an outsider; on the edge peering in.

The previous night I had met with Ali so she could tell me more about what kind of help she needs as a captain. We really didn't do anything. I technically wasn't a captain and Ali and Samara still had things under control despite their feud. We pretty much talked about everything except soccer. I almost had myself thinking she just wanted to spend time with me.

Spencer's POV

The weirdest thing happened today. During my lunch period I stayed in my room to finish up some work. Ten minutes into the period Mike Montgomery walked in with his notebook in hand.

"What up Ms. H!"

I had smiled and waved him on over to my desk. He put the notebook on my desk and looked me in the eye. He said nothing, and I grew confused.

"Can I help you with something, Mike?"

"You know," He sneered, "Your name sounds really familiar. Your first name wouldn't happen to be Spencer, would it?"

He knew. It wasn't a question, he was letting me know that he knew. Of course he would know though. How could I let myself hope that he might not know? Of course his sister would have said something to him about me. Who knows what, though? That thought scares me.

He continued to look at me as if he was hanging something over my head.

"Look, Mike. I don't know what you're thinking or feeling, but these matters need to stay outside of school and between your sister and I."

He held his hands up. "I'm not saying anything." I waited for him to say 'yet'. For him to give me some sort of blackmail. But no, he just wanted me to know that he knew.

He left the room as if he had just won some imaginary argument. If he thought he had something over me he was wrong.

Now, several hours later, this encounter still bothers me. So I've decided to go for a run. I zipped up my hoodie, tied my shoelace tight, and headed out to pound some pavement.

Emily's POV

I sat against a tree with my copy of The Lord of the Flies for English class. I was actually enjoying this particular novel. As far as English class books go, this was tolerable. Easy to read, at least. I liked to come to the park to read. Too many distractions at my house, and too much noise at the coffee shop for reading.

I had just finished the second chapter when I looked up and saw her. Ms. Hastings was jogging towards me with her head down. She was wearing a light grey hoodie with a black tank-top underneath. Just as she was about to pass me she stopped at a bench and bent over to re-tie her shoe. As she bent over I discovered that it wasn't a black tank-top she was wearing, but her black sports bra. Her stomach was visible as she was bent over. I swallowed and tried to look back down at my book, but couldn't. I watched her stand up again to continue her run. The only thing between me and that view again was a zipper. That thought sent heat up the sides of my neck.

 _I will try to write more often. Im getting back into it right now and im kinda excited. So you can expect to see some more_


	5. Day to Day

_**Thank you to all who followed and reviewed. I'm glad to see people are still interested in the story.**_

Spencer's POV

After a long and hot shower I made myself a cup of tea and opened a book. I was only a handful of lines in when my phone started to ring. I decided at first to ignore it and let it go to voicemail. Several seconds later, though, it rang again. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was her. After so long here she is calling me. Our history was scratched, to say the least. My mind flickered back to my encounter with Mike Montgomery. Likely that encounter was why she was calling, but I don't know why.

"Hello?" I took a deep breath as I answered. I had barely finished saying it before she blew up.

"Don't you dare approach Mike. And God, Spencer, if you even talk to him outside of class there will be hell!"

"Whoa, Aria. Cool down for a second, okay? Mike came up to me. I barely said anything to him. I don't want any trouble. I don't know what it is he told you, but nothing really happened." I pulled some hair out of my face and bent the corner of the page before resting my book down. I pulled the phone away from my mouth and took a quick sip of tea and popped some advil. I could already feel a nasty headache coming on.

"It doesn't matter what he told me, all he had to say was your name."

"You knew he was likely to be in my class" I pointed out.

"Of course I knew. But I don't really pay attention to him. I didn't think I'd be hearing from him all that much, but now here he comes to me talking about you. I want you completely out of my life, Spencer, and that means you can't and won't weasel your way to me through my little brother. Understood?"

I contemplated all the possible replies that she would hate. The truth is though I don't want her to hate me. Sure, our past was total shit. But I'm over it. I also knew that I wasn't, as she accused, going to try to get to her through Mike; I didn't want anything to do with Mike. I briefly thought about arguing with her that she was narcissistic thinking I wanted to do such a thing. I decided to just let her have her moment.

"Clearly" I replied. She hung up. _Goodbye to you too_. I picked my book back up and pretended the conversation never happened.

Emily's POV

Walking through the halls this morning, I kept my eyes searching for Mrs. Hastings. In my head I kept playing the image of her in a hoodie with the zipper hiding her sports bra. I made it to math class without seeing her at all. I slouched in my chair and pouted. The kid who sat next to me slid into his seat and eagerly bumped my shoulder.

"Hey! Sweet goal the other night, that was wicked!"

I blushed and shrugged it off as nothing. I play soccer with his sister who is also a junior; their twins. He continued to act all giddy and was bouncing in his seat. He was like a toddler hyped on sugar, and the worst part was that this was a common thing for him. I glanced over at the clock and hoped first period would pass by quickly.

Unfortunately for me, first period was always the slowest. I hate math. I'm good at it, but it freaking sucks. Mr. Zachary was the kind of teacher that everyone claimed you had to have and that ' _you didn't really go to Rosewood unless you had Mr. Zachary'_. He didn't quite impress me. He was nice and all, but he would just drone on and barely explain the concepts. I've never struggled in math before, but this year was off to a bad start. I get good grades all around and always make honor roll. Mr. Zachary will not be the reason I don't get honor roll for the first time. I glanced back up at the clock again for what felt like the thousandth time.

Spencer's POV

The morning started off real slow. As in, I felt slow. The time on the other hand was flying by and I was late. Again.

My first period students were unusually rowdy. I didn't bring enough coffee for this nor did I take enough advil. I found myself constantly looking up at the clock as we went over the first few chapter of The Lord of the Flies. Hopefully my second mod class would be a lot better, they usually were. I thought about Emily briefly. I quickly shook the thought out of my head and was left a little scared that my mind went their subconsciously. I shouldn't be thinking about any students in particular for no reason. But oh, the way she left me feeling, all high and unsure, after I talked to her in the coffee shop a few nights ago. I haven't really talked to her since. I wonder why such an innocent conversation made me jump inside. She will be in this very room in less than an hour. I really can't wait for my second period to get here.

Emily's POV

The bell finally rang and I rushed out of math. I speed walked to my locker and then to Paige's locker where we now meet before English.

"Did you read for English?" She greeted.

"I always do." I replied. She nodded her head and we headed towards English. I didn't bother asking her the same question because I already knew the answer. Like me, she always did her work, even the reading.

We slid into our seats and she turned around to doodle on my notebook while I tapped my pencil and watched Mrs. Hasting talk to a student. After a minute or two she silenced the class and glanced out the window. She turned back to face the class and smiled.

"How would you like class outside?" She asked us. With no surprise the entire class burst with excitement. Mrs. Hastings leaned forward as if she was sharing a secret and said "We're not really supposed to take students outside but if you don't talk about it in the hallways we'll be fine." She waved her hand and shrugged. Picking up her book and a lawn chair she kept in the corner of the room she led the class outside. She shoved a rock in the door so we wouldn't get locked out, and we sat in a cluster on the grass. A bug kept flying around my head and Paige started chuckling under her breath.

"I think it's the Lord of the Flies" She said as she pointed to the fly and held up her book. I smiled and shook my head at her. She's a great friend in that just as I was getting visibly annoyed with the fly she made me laugh.

I shooed the fly away and leaned back, watching and listening to Mrs. Hastings. She looked pretty amazing, as usual. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing a light pink dress with a light blue sweater. Thankfully, the period went by slowly. I never wanted English to end. That's odd, really. Who wants class to go on forever?

Spencer's POV

Taking my second period class out was a rash decision. I just needed to feel the sun and fresh air. It felt like being free in the prison that is a school.

While I sat up in my chair with twenty something pairs of eyes on me, I only felt two pairs of eyes on me. On one side Mike stared at me with a smug grin. Next to him Alexa, his girlfriend, played with his free hand, his other hand holding his book.

On the other side of me Emily watched me carefully as I talked about the chapters. I quickly grew uncomfortable. Emily made me jittery and Mike made me anxious. I enjoyed being outside, but I couldn't wait for the period to be over.

Emily's POV

Later that day as I walking down the hall Mrs. Hastings came out of the office in front of me. Two kids passed us and one called out "Hey Mrs. H!"

She smiled at him and kept walking. When he thought she was out of earshot he turned to his friend and said "chic cotton candy ass". I looked at her pink dress and blue sweater and cringed. I wanted to punch one of the boys. Or both. Mrs. Hastings's head whipped back and she death glared him. I think he may have shit his pants. The two boys booked it and didn't look back. I could see the ' _excuse me?'_ on Mrs. Hastings lips. She looked so pissed and offended. I felt really bad for her. For the rest of the day I kept thinking about it over and over again. I don't really know why it bothered me so much. It shouldn't.

At the end of the day I waited for Paige before heading to the locker rooms to change for soccer. She would go off to tennis and then we'll meet afterwards, as usual, at her house.


End file.
